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To the Boy I Love: A Letter to My First Born

To the boy I love: A letter to my first born

To the Boy I Love,

Hi son! 

Perhaps you may not yet understand everything I have to say but when the time comes, I want you to know how happy I am seeing you grow to be the kind of person you are now. 

You’re becoming to be a young man so full of discoveries and enthusiasm with what's around you. I hope you won’t lose that curious mind as you grow older.

I admire you son. I know you know what you want. You have your own principles at such a young age.

Oftentimes, it amazes me as to how you can be so firm with your beliefs that no one can even bend them for you. “Where did you get that attitude?” I wonder. 

When I was young, I was just like any other kid who would follow the norm. I was conventional, afraid to be different. But you...you are different from me in a good way. You showed toughness and versatility at the same time. 

My child, please know that as much as I want to be perfect, I could only do so much. 

You see, the moment that you were born, a part of me was also born - that's being a first time Mom where everything else was absolutely new! 

Because of that, I've gotten myself countless mistakes and shortcomings. You were at the receiving end of my so called immaturity and lack of expertise. 

I apologize for those, son.

If only I could rewind the past and make it perfect for you, I would. But it can never be undone. All that I gained were valuable lessons. 

You must be tired from my endless “reminders” and I may come off as “angry-all-the-time” from your point of view. 

Please know that I am NOT angry when my pitch goes high, not EVER! I just want to call your attention when I feel you don't listen. 

Let me make it clear that "I.will.never.ever" get tired of reminding you if it’s for your own good, okay? 

Lately,  I notice you're getting conscious with your looks and weight. And mama knows exactly the reason behind this. My baby-no-more is already crushing on someone! And I’m glad you finally admit it haha.

I appreciate your effort to look after yourself, taking care of your body and hygiene. That’s a great start to a healthy you, my dear! 

But while you’re busy on the physical aspects, please keep in mind that your personality, values and manners are more important, trust me! (that's a lot of "pogi" points, anak!)

I miss you son. 

I miss the days when I could still carry you in my arms.

I miss the days when I was your only world...oh how I sound so selfish.

I miss those times when you wouldn’t let me go...

when you’d always hold my hands as we walked to the park, how your eyes lit up at the sight of me

and how you’d say "Mama" as it was the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard!

Now, you’re getting independent in so many ways and even embarrassed to be seen holding my hands in public.

Then suddenly, there's a feeling of nostalgia starting to spark from within.

Where has the time gone?  Did I just blink my eyes yesterday? 

As you turn 12,  please know that you’ll always be special - you're my first born! I just want you to enjoy your youth, stay humble and be happy. 

Dream big and aim high, anak! 

Always remember that for me you are the best son in the whole world! I love both your prettiness and imperfections.

I love you with all my heart and soul...no more tears, okay? 

Hugs and kisses,

a letter to my first born

photocredit to pixabay.com, Joan's photos


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